Why did I start this blog in the first place? Well, I am a business woman, a young business woman, I can even say – a business girl. My position suggests me to be serious at work. The inner me is not like that though. I have to adapt myself to a business environment that exists in some companies. There are still several clients whom I am having lots of laughs with.
I started thinking of a personal blog a long time ago, but didn’t have that specific theme to write about. I usually have lots of ideas, but don’t have personal time. I usually had time only for business. That’s why I was writing my company’s business blog (btw, I am going to continue writing it anyways, so you are welcome to follow it :)). It was not enough for me though. Sometimes I’d like to share some thoughts that wouldn’t fit my business page. Those thoughts were diverse and I didn’t know how to put them into one blog. It would have been just a mess.
So last week one of my colleagues came to the office a bit later and I was thinking on something (don’t remember what exactly). She said usual hellos and then came to me with the question: “is something wrong?”. I was surprised to hear that as everything was as usual for me. But she continued: “you are not smiling, – it’s not normal”. That hit me. I do usually smile and I do usually joke around in the office. I was taking it for granted, but many people see me as a smiley and funny person. I was trying to define myself as someone or something for so long and it was so easy to do!
This year was a bit rough for me bringing some more troubles than the previous year, lots of projects at work, trips, meetings, paperwork for the newly registered company of mine – The Divine Communications. Very proud of myself and my team of supporters – my family, friends and… no, not fools, – my “fairy” accountant, whom I couldn’t have done so much without. So yes, it was a tough start of the year, then recently I found myself in an unexpected and unusual state – I stopped smiling. I was so tired and exhausted that I didn’t want to. I had to force myself to do simple act of emotional reaction to the outside world that is called “smile”. That was really strange for me. That was the time I realized how precious are those times when something, or even better, – someone, makes you smile!
Step by step I came back to myself, I started walking, reading, doing exercise and came back to play tennis. I wanted to start running, but it’s not for me. Walking is another thing. I do walk and walk a lot lately. That makes me feel better, helps focusing and thinking straight.
My friends are complaining about the amount of “business” in my life. Even here in my personal blog there will be business. Yes, business is a part of my life and it will never change. However, I balanced my time this year and now I have more time for myself, for my friends and for my books.
I’ve always dreamed about writing a book. Never knew what it would be about, but always wanted to make it. I have this strange will for writing and sharing. Sharing is already working – I sometimes teach, I also work as a consultant so I share my knowledge for living. However, writing was always difficult. I thought I was a bad writer, – I was shy to write and share my ideas in a blog, I couldn’t complete my posts, – basically, I had lots of excuses not to write (I bet you also experienced that).
So now – no excuses. I write, because I want to and I have something to share. I am getting organized in my personal life as well. I know that this blog will make me notice things I haven’t been noticing before. For example, today while walking towards the ocean I took an unusual route for me and I found a beautiful street hidden in between houses. I used to take this road to go for my Portuguese course, but I have never seen this street.
So here we go… “Smile moment” #1 – feeling proud of myself for finalizing my very first post in my very-not-so-first personal blog. I wish myself a success and lots of “smiling moments”!